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| Spoilers: None of these cars make the list, because we found better ones. (image credit: Warner Bros.) |
To celebrate this year's halloween, we take you to zombieland and provide you with a top 10 list of vehicles you should get for yourself in the event that you are, indeed, the last guy standing.
First of all, a little explanation -- the cars will be ranked by their performance (in case you need to outrun some walkers), reliability (in case your car breaks down in the worst moment), versatility (can you sleep inside the car comfortably?), fuel economy (because in the apocalypse, chances are your neighborhood gas station won't be open anymore), and most importantly, your overall chance of survival behind these wheels.
Ideally, the car should be fast, reasonably reliable (or at least very easy to fix), can be used for a variety of purposes (or can be easily transformed), doesn't take too much fuel, and just overall durable enough to increase your chances of survival.
So here goes.
10. A sports car.
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| Shelby Mustang GT500 -- Will Smith approves. (image credit: Warner Bros.) |
Reliability: 1/5
Versatility: 1/5
Fuel economy: 1/5
Chances of survival: 2/10
If Will Smith in I Am Legend has taught us anything, it is that humanity can be saved if you can manage to blow some infecteds up. Well, that and the fact that you can still look massively cool while having a boatload of fun during a zombie apocalypse. The city is empty, and the roads become your Daytona 500. Supply runs (or hunting) have never been faster. Besides, who says that you can't have yourself some fun when the end of the world comes?
Of course, once you inevitably run out of fuel and your $140,000 sports car break down, you will be on your own. But hey, at least you will be going out in style. You'll probably also suffer from a sore back just because of the stiff suspension, which means you won't be able to run away from the meat-eaters on foot.
Recommended wheels: Lamborghini Aventador, because you want to be driving a car that looks like a stealth fighter jet while you're chasing zombies.
9. An electric car.
Performance: 4/5
Reliability: 3/5
Versatility: 1/5
Fuel economy: 10/5 (or 0/5 depending on if Elon Musk implements those awesome solar-powered charging stations)
Chances of survival: 2/10
This may be a bit of an unconventional choice, but hear me out -- imagine if there is a massive herd of lamebrains ahead of you, and there is an abandoned supermarket behind them that you really need to get to because your favorite shampoo has run out, the electric car might just be your best choice. First of all, it is silent, which means you can stealthily maneuver yourself around the herd without getting detected. Second of all, even if you are spotted, you can stomp on the gas (electric?) pedal and get yourself out of the situation quickly.
The flip side is, of course, if there isn't a solar-powered charging station around where you stay, then your electric car will just be a one-time, albeit quiet, option. Hope you packed lightly in that case because you'll be on foot for the rest of the day until you find your next ride.
Recommended wheels: Tesla Model S P85D -- if you are going electric, pick the one that goes from 0-60 in 3.1 seconds.
8. Delivery trucks
Performance: 1/5
Reliability: 3/5
Versatility: 3/5
Fuel economy: 1/5
Chances of survival: 4/10
Yep, those delivery trucks that you regularly do battle with on your local Interstate before that judgement day. Of course, now you get to dominate the roads for once. If you are lucky enough, you may be able to find a truck that is already pre-loaded with supplies. Plus, the extra room in the back means that you will be able to make yourself a home. The added toughness is a plus too, unless you wander in the woods and become stuck because of the truck gets caught in a tree.
Flip side is, of course, most trucks are very incredibly well-used which means they may be susceptible to breakdowns. In addition, fuel economy will be terrible. Prepare yourself to constantly hunt for diesel fuel.
Recommended wheels: any truck you can find on the street. Food truck would be a definite plus.
7. An RV.
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| (image credit: AMC) |
Reliability: 3/5
Versatility: 4/5
Fuel economy: 1/5
Chances of survival: 6/10
The Winnebago -- walker-tested, and AMC approved. You know you are doing something right when it is featured so prominently on the Walking Dead. It is exactly like a truck, except the back is already pre-loaded with a washroom, a comfortable bed, and a kitchen. Once you have all the necessary supplies, you may never need to get out of the RV again. Cross-country from Georgia to California? Why not!
As with any big diesel trucks, fuel efficiency will be a problem. You'll also need to have Dale-like knowledge when it comes to fixing one of these things. And, you know, try not to venture into New Mexico. You might bump into another RV with two zombies and a truck-load of the blue stuff.
Recommended wheels: 1977 Winnebago. Duh.
6. A wagon
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| How can you say no to a wood-panel station wagon? |
Performance: 3/5
Reliability: 3/5
Versatility: 3/5
Fuel economy: 4/5
Chances of survival: 5/10.
Wagons -- the ultimate compromise of performance and utility. It is designed to be exactly like a car, except there is so much space in the back you can fit a bed and a small kitchen in the back (it has been done before, after all). Depending on the model you get, you might even be able to find one that has quite decent handling and performance as well. The flip side? Good luck driving around off-roads. You also won't be able to haul as much canned goods as a pick-up truck or an SUV.
Recommended wheels: Subaru Impreza WRX wagon -- expect to see lots of them in New England. Or, if you want to go in style, try to see if you can find a Chevrolet Caprice wagon, complete with wooden panels. Because if anything will remind you of the good ol' times with actual human beings, it will be a wood panel station wagon.
5. An off-road ready truck.
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| (image credit: Columbia Pictures) |
Reliability: 3/5
Versatility: 5/5
Fuel economy: 3/5
Chances of survival: 6/10
Like the wagon, but with more size and utility. Because of it, the SUVs are adopted in many roamer-themed movies and TV shows as well, from Zombieland, I am Legend, World War Z, to The Walking Dead. Many of them are also modified to include push bars, off-road tires, spotlights, or, in Zombieland's case, a full-on bulldozer-like "splitter" -- extra points for versatility there. Big SUVs and trucks usually have a pretty flat floor as well, so you can sleep inside the car if you wish.
The flip side, other than the reduced performance, would be the fuel economy. Pack some jerry cans before you
Recommended wheels: Ford Raptor. Imagine the irony of a Raptor roaming about after most humans have become extinct.
4. Ambulance.
Performance: 2/5
Reliability: 4/5
Versatility: 5/5
Fuel economy: 1/5
Chances of survival: 7/10
From this point on, you can't really go wrong with any of these choices. An ambulance spends most of its time saving people. In the apocalypse, let it be your saving grace as well. What's not to like about an ambulance? Reasonable performance, tough, plenty of room in the back with a gurney and plugs for additional equipment, and plenty of spare parts and ambulances available in local hospitals. Plus, if a member of your survival group is injured, the ambulance is already loaded with all the medical equipment that will surely keep you going.
Just make sure to turn off all the fancy equipment before you park for the night. You don't want to wake up to find that your battery is dead.
Recommended wheels: Any ambulance. Bonus points if you find one that is lifted like the one in the picture.
3. Armored truck.
Performance: 1/5
Reliability: 3/5
Versatility: 4/5
Fuel economy: 1/5
Chances of survival: 7/10
Another slightly unorthodox choice here, but why not? With so many undeads roaming about, it is always nice to have some toughness for your wheels. With this, there is also enough room in the back to have yourself a mobile fortified hotel while you are on the run from city to city. Sure, with its sheer size and weight, You don't even have to spend additional time and resources to make it impenetrable -- they already come with bullet-proof glass, doors and body panels.
Obviously, it won't be outrunning any rotters anytime soon, but you won't have to -- having an armored truck means that you can just stay inside and be perfectly safe. As with any trucks, fuel economy is likely to be a problem as well, but you know that already.
Recommended wheels: Just about anything that you can find.
2. The Presidential Limousine.
Performance: 4/5
Reliability: 2/5
Versatility: 4/5
Fuel economy: 2/5
Chances of survival: 7/10
Wasn't expecting this, huh? This may be more for the survivors who live around the East Coast, but think about it -- chances are, the government won't be around in the event of a rage-virus epidemic. Why not get the car that used to protect the most powerful person in the world? Nothing screams "don't mess with me" than a heavily fortified limousine, complete with its own oxygen supply, a mini on-board armoury, bullet-proof everything, and a door that weighs the same as a cabin door in an airliner.
If your version of a zombie apocalypse consists of ultra-fast infected wielding armor-piercing automatic weapons, it will protect you no problem, because you will have tear gas built-in underneath the car, and you will still have your own oxygen supply. And a DVD player. So you can still have a party going on in the back of the limo while the world falls apart around you.
Problem? Well... There's only about two of those. And Channing Tatum may have destroyed one of them already.
Recommended wheels: "The Beast" -- President Obama's wheel of choice. Or, you may try your luck with any of the Presidential Libraries -- chances are, they will have a limousine on display.
1. A Police car.
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| Deputy Grimes is out to get you. (image credit: AMC) |
Reliability: 5/5
Versatility: 3/5
Fuel economy: 3/5
Chances of survival: 7/10
Incredibly easy to find? Check. Powerful? Check. Reliable? Check. The fact that this was Rick Grime's first vehicle of choice in The Walking Dead is just the cherry on top. Honestly, America's least favorite sight in the rear view mirror might just be your savior in a roamers apocalypse. If you manage to find one of these sitting in a, oh I don't know, deserted sheriff's office, for instance -- you'll be automatically equipped with a 4-door sedan that is a) powered with a V8; b) comes with a CB radio; c) pre-equipped with heavy duty suspension, tires, and spotlight; d) bullet proof; and e) incredibly easy to find. You will also look pretty cool, because cars with push bars usually look pretty cool.
Plus, how can you resist the temptation to envision yourself as the next Rick Grimes? Grab that sheriff's hat, put on the uniform, and go and fight some walkers.
Recommended wheels: Ford Crown Victoria Police Interceptor. You can't go wrong with this classic.
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